Wherever You Go, There You Are
by FanGirl2315
Summary: Plot: Sons of Anarchy A/U: The past is never in the past, it stays with you no matter what Central Relationship: Tig/Oc Extended Plot: After seeing a video of Jax's sister, who is Tig's lost love, the two decide to venture with Gemma to find her and bring her back and into the life of SAMCRO. Will she come?
1. Chapter 1: The Video

Wherever You Go, There You are

Plot: Sons of Anarchy A/U: The past is never in the past, it stays with you no matter what

Wherever You Go, There You are

Plot: Sons of Anarchy A/U: The past is never in the past, it stays with you no matter what

Central Relationship: Tig/Oc

Extended Plot: After seeing a video of Jax's sister, who is Tig's lost love, the two decide to venture with Gemma to find her and bring her back to Harmony and into the life of SAMCRO. Will she come?

Jax POV:

Tonight was pointless. After reading my dad's journal, I see how far Clay has led us off course. I don't know how my mom buys it at times. I guess that's what being an "old lad" is like. When I get like this, I think about Jessie. 8 years, 8 years since she just left.. me, Mom.. Tig. Oh, don't get me started on him. Yes, Jess and I are twins but, "that doesn't mean shit" in her words.

In a fucked up way, it's worse because she's alive out there somewhere and not 6 feet under. What kind of life does she have now? So many questions. Mom's emotions about Jess are basically fear based. "Is she dead?" "Did she end up in another MC?" Mine are mostly confusion: "Why did you go?" "Why haven't you kept in touch?" "What happened for you to leave us?" And, Tig, well, not that he says them too often, but TIg's are "Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?" It's been 8 years but Mom still wants her daughter, I still want my sister and Tig still wants his "Old Lady."

I miss her. When I get like this she's exactly what I need to get back on track. Abel helps, but Jess is my twin. 8 years or not, she knows me in and out.

This is all consuming me when Half Sack busts through the door.

"Check this out! Check this out! This fuckin' hottie karakoes to Lynyrd Skynyard."

He's always finding something and comes running with his iPad and presses play. I see a bar and a woman, who must be filming, says "It's karaoke night for the ladies and we convinced our brainac, Karen Harper, to sing! We're excited!" A whole bunch of people cheer, and then cheer again when "Karen" goes on the stage.

I freeze. It can't be, but it is. Damn if the girl starting to belt out "A Simple Man" isn't my fucking twin sister, Jessica, who now apparently goes by Karen. The voice is hers. I've heard her sing enough to know. The face is hers. She looks different, but, the same. She still has her deep green eyes that can paralyze anyone but, one thing is clear; She's happy. In the 20 years I've spent with her, I'd never seen her do something like this without being totally bombed. Wherever she is, whoever "Karen" is, is happy.. she's free.

I'm lost again in memories while Half Sack is getting a boner. The brotherly instinct comes roaring back and I stupidly say "Back off, that's Jess!"

"Holy Fuck!" he screams and then just tells me to keep watching. The song comes to an end and I see Jess come back to her friends. Man, it's really fucking her.

"You recorded that? Seriously?" She looks at the camera and those eyes.. yep… that's my sister.

"Ian always wants to hear his Mommy sing and now he can! It's the perfect birthday present, plus he loves that song!"

Two words: "His mommy." My fucking sister is a Mom. Abel has a cousin. What the fuck?

"How old will he be again?" another friend asks.

Man, Jessie's smile. I've missed that, but this one is all for her little boy.

"8! It's crazy! I can't believe it!" Her eyes light up in pure joy.

Wait. 8. Her son is 8. She left Tig, and all of us, 8 years ago. Holy Fucking Shit. So, in the past 5 minutes I've found out my twin sister is alive and well, she lives somewhere I have no idea where, and Tig and she have a kid. Holy Fuck.

"Man, your sister's fuckin' hot!" the Prospect says. "I've heard stories. Isn't she why Tig is totally nuts now?"

Shit, I gotta figure this out and fast. It doesn't look like the Prospect put together the pieces of her family life, but, he can't say anything to anyone until I look into this more. My mom will flip. Tig, well, who the fuck knows what he'll do? But, because life just fucking sucks, TIg walks in the room and I can't move fast enough for Half Sack, who yells "I found your Old Lady!" Well, at least he didn't say anything about the kid.

Chapter 2:

Tig POV:

It's been one of those days. Those days that need to end with a bottle or a bitch, or a combination of both. Sometimes being Saergent At Arms to Clay is great and sometimes it just fuckin' sucks. Today, it fucking sucks. And, because I'm the sick, sado-machistic fuck that I am, Jess has been on my mind all fucking damn day. It's been 7 years and I can say that no matter how many Crow Eaters I fuck or ladies I try to take up, it'll never be the same. I'm fuckin' 43 years old and she's it. Done. The only one. So, my aim tonight is to get drunk and get some sort of happy on.

I walk into the club with my eyes on the bar when the Prospect nearly runs me over. "I found your Old Lady!", he screams.

I freeze. He wasn't here, but he knows that Jess is my Old Lady. That means that he found her. My heart just fucking went haywire, my dick got hard and my mind went to rage. "What the fuck?!", I yelled.

Jax appears and says "Cool down, this is some shit." That only sets me off more.

"You knew? You fuckin' knew?! Of course you knew!"

He interrupts my rant, looks me dead in the eyes and says "Gemma doesn't know man, just watch.."

Gemma doesn't know? Gemma doesn't know her daughter's alive? What the fuck is going on? The look on Jax's face tells me he basically is just as surprised by this as I am. Half Sack goes to press play and Jax says "I'm right here, brother."

A cute chick comes on and says "It's karaoke night for the ladies and we convinced our brainac, Karen Harper, to sing! We're excited!"

What the fuck?! She changed her name? I know it's her the second she walks on stage. She always tried to hide how well she sang. She couldn't hide shit from me. I watch her sing, this girl, "Karen", my Jess, and, just like always, my dick gets hard, I get mad, I get happy and I get sad. 8 fuckin' years. The power she still holds over me is laughable.

The song comes to an end and Jax says "Shit, well, wow. Let's find her!" and tries to grab Half Sack's iPad. That was weird. But, Half Sack says "No man, watch this next part!"

I can't understand what's up with Jax. Yeah, she's his sister and that's gotta be weird, but, it's like he knows some crazy secret.

"Half Sack!", I yell. He looks at me and I can tell he'll do whatever the fuck I tell him to do.

"Yeah…?" he says reluctantly.

"I wanna see the rest of the video." I see that he looks to Jax and I take his collar and say "Now."

Jax slowly nods, and they both sigh and press play.

She finishes the song fucking flawlessly and comes back to her friends. I see her face up close and my heart clenches. Yep, I still love her. I'll always love her.

"You recorded that, seriously?" she looks at the camera. Those eyes, damn, that's my Jess.

"Ian always wants to hear his mommy sing. Now he can! It's the perfect birthday present."

Two words: "His Mommy." Jessie is a Mom. What. The. Fuck.

"How old will he be again?" a different friend asks.

Wait, wait, all I focus on is the response from the Love of My Life.

"8! It's crazy! I can't believe it!"

I think I'm having a heart attack. I tell Half Sack to turn it off.

He looks at me with a half shocked, half laughing expression and says "Dude, are you a Dad?"

"Go fuckin' clean out back" Jax steps up and I'm surprised. I figured he'd love to see me freak the fuck out.

The second Half Sack walks out, reality sets in. I'm a fucking Dad. Given how things have been between Jax and I because of Clay, I'm shocked at Jax's supportive behavior. But, then again, he just found his sister, too.

After a few long moments of silence, I say to him in a pretty quietly desperate voice "What do I do?"

He looks at me for a minute before saying "About the karaoke thing? The video thing? Or, the whole you have son thing?"

"About the we have the son thing!" I whisper yell.

Jax stands there for a few minutes and doesn't say anything and I wonder what he's thinking. Finally, he says "Let's find her."

With no hesitation I say "I'm in." Then, pathetically, I might add, I turn to him and say "How?"


	2. Chapter 2: Oh Shit

Chapter 2: Wherever You go, There you Are (edited)

Tig POV:

It's been one of those days. Those days that need to end with a bottle or a bitch, or a combination of both. Sometimes being Sargent At Arms to Clay is great and sometimes it just fuckin' sucks. Today, it fucking sucks. And, because I'm the sick, sado-machistic fuck that I am, Jess has been on my mind all fucking damn day. It's been 7 years and I can say that no matter how many Crow Eaters I fuck or ladies I try to take up, it'll never be the same. I'm fuckin' 43 years old and she's it. Done. The only one. So, my aim tonight is to get drunk and get some sort of happy on.

I walk into the club with my eyes on the bar when the Prospect nearly runs me over. "I found your Old Lady!", he screams.

I freeze. He wasn't here, but he knows that Jess is my Old Lady. That means that he found her. My heart just fucking went haywire, my dick got hard and my mind went to rage. "What the fuck?!", I yelled.

Jax appears and says "Cool down, this is some shit." That only sets me off more.

"You knew? You fuckin' knew?! Of course, you knew!"

He interrupts my rant, looks me dead in the eyes and says "Gemma doesn't know man, just watch..."

Gemma doesn't know? Gemma doesn't know her daughter's alive? What the fuck is going on? The look on Jax's face tells me he basically is just as surprised by this as I am. Half Sack goes to press play and Jax says "I'm right here, brother."

A cute chick comes on and says "It's karaoke night for the ladies and we convinced our Brainiac, Karen Harper, to sing! We're excited!"

What the fuck?! She changed her name? I know it's her the second she walks on stage. She always tried to hide how well she sang. She couldn't hide shit from me. I watch her sing, this girl, "Karen", my Jess, and, just like always, my dick gets hard, I get mad, I get happy and I get sad. 8 fuckin' years. The power she still holds over me is laughable.

The song comes to an end and Jax says "Shit, well, wow. Let's find her!" and tries to grab Half Sack's iPad. That was weird. But, Half Sack says "No man, watch this next part!"

I can't understand what's up with Jax. Yeah, she's his sister and that's gotta be weird, but, it's like he knows some crazy secret.

"Half Sack!", I yell. He looks at me and I can tell he'll do whatever the fuck I tell him to do.

"Yeah…?" he says reluctantly.

"I wanna see the rest of the video." I see that he looks to Jax and I take his collar and say "Now."

Jax slowly nods, and they both sigh and press play.

She finishes the song fucking flawlessly and comes back to her friends. I see her face up close and my heart clenches. Yep, I still love her. I'll always love her.

"You recorded that, seriously?" she looks at the camera. Those eyes, damn, that's my Jess.

"Ian always wants to hear his mommy sing. Now he can! It's the perfect birthday present."

Two words: "His Mommy." Jessie is a Mom. What. The. Fuck.

"How old will he be again?" a different friend asks.

Wait, wait, all I focus on is the response from the Love of My Life.

"8! It's crazy! I can't believe it!"

I think I'm having a heart attack. I tell Half Sack to turn it off.

He looks at me with a half shocked, half laughing expression and says "Dude, are you a Dad?"

"Go fuckin' clean out back" Jax steps up and I'm surprised. I figured he'd love to see me freak the fuck out.

The second Half Sack walks out, reality sets in. I'm a fucking Dad. Given how things have been between Jax and I because of Clay, I'm shocked at Jax's supportive behavior. But, then again, he just found his sister, too.

After a few long moments of silence, I say to him in a pretty quietly desperate voice "What do I do?"

He looks at me for a minute before saying "About the karaoke thing? The video thing? Or, the whole you have son thing?"

"About the we have the son thing!" I whisper yell.

Jax stands there for a few minutes and doesn't say anything and I wonder what he's thinking. Finally, he says "Let's find her."

With no hesitation I say "I'm in." Then, pathetically, I might add, I turn to him and say "How?"


	3. Chapter 3: What the hell do we do now?

Chapter 3:

 _Previously: Jax stands there for a few minutes and doesn't say anything and I wonder what he's thinking. Finally, he said "Let's find her."_

 _With no hesitation I say, "I'm in". Then, pathetically I might add, I turn to him and say "How?"_

Jax POV:

Well, shit. He had me there. All we could see is some random bar. How the hell are we supposed to find her? Half Sack… the kid may be dopey, but he knows his shit when it comes to techy stuff.

I look at Tig and say "Half Sack".

Tig takes no time and says "Half Sack, get your ass in here NOW."

He comes running and looking worried. We can be bullies and jackasses when we need and want to be. We're dicks most of the time.

Tig says "What can you do to help us find here?"

The Prospect just looks at us with a confused face.

I can tell Tig is worked up. I don't blame him. He found out he has an 8-year old kid he never knew about. Fucked up shit. Before Tig got us too far off course, I said to the Prospect, "you're good with tech shit, right?"

He seems to sort of get what we're asking and says "Yeah, what do you need?"

Tig doesn't even hesitate. "We want to find Jess, or Karen or whatever. What the hell can you do to help?"

"Uh… well, since we know her name, or her other name, we can start with a Google search." It finally looks like he's starting to think in the right direction.

I say "How do you do that?" I'm a biker and an outlaw, not a fucking nerd.

Half-Sack gives a little smirk an pulls out his iPad and goes to a screen and says, "So, her name is Karen Harper now?"

Tig says "Yup. You think we can find out why the fuck we she changed it?"

I'd like to know that too.

"Uh… I can try but that might be a little harder. Do you know where she might live now, like even a State?"

"No dumbass. You think we can tell from a fucking bar?" Tig says annoyed. I gotta mediate this situation. Tig is wicked worked up and the guy can be like a fucking bomb when he goes off.

"Just try searching her name, man. You never know? You randomly saw that video…" When the hell did I get so optimistic? Jesse's return to our life probably.

Half-sack types in her name and presses search and we see a whole bunch of results. There's Facebook, LinkedIn whatever the fuck that means. Then I see there's photos. "Look at the photo's man…"

He starts scrolling through and on the third try or so, I see her. She's all dressed up in a fucking business suit and looks like some attorney. What the fuck? The Harley riding, classic rock singing, badass bitch is some corporate tight ass? Did she, like, switch personalities or some shit? This just gets weirder and weirder. I look at Tig and I see his wall come down and looks at her with such longing it's sad. He doesn't even say anything. Jesus, is this fucking real?

We see some link thing and I tell Half Sack to follow it. He chuckles at my language "Fuck off man, you jerk off to this shit, and we bang real ladies." God, Jesse would slap me upside the head if she heard me say that.

He clicks the link and it takes us to another page with a lot of information about her. Jackpot. Tig leans forward and starts mumbling the words to himself and I read silently. She's some high tech Computer Engineer Consultant. Jesus. It's not too surprising. She's the fucking smartest person I know. I read on and see she has a whole bunch of degrees and won all kinds of awards. Whoa. She really made something of herself. Then I hesitate. Is it worth finding her? Do we have the right to show up when it seems like she's got a good life? I can tell Tig is too far gone with his emotion to think clearly and then I think of my Mom. She'd do anything to see her again. Tig's still mumbling to herself when I see exactly what we're looking for.

"Here, here!", I say excitedly. "Karen lives with her son in Morristown, NJ and works in our New York office. Never heard of it, but it's Jersey and can't be too far from New York. Fuck, that's gonna suck. There's a whole bunch of MC's we're gonna have to let know cuz a shit storm would happen if even just Tig and I show up there. Another fucking complication.

Tig sees the part about where she lives and gets up from the barstool and starts getting his shit together. "Let's fucking go.. Now.. we ride all night we can get there in what, 3 days? We gotta go. Call Gemma." He's clearly past any point of reason. Great.

The Prospect just stands there not knowing what the fuck to do (as usual) and I say to Tig "Whoa, whoa, whoa we gotta chill for a minute.."

He cuts me off. "Fuck no! 8 years, man. 8 fucking years. Not to mention my god damn kid. No, we're going. Or, I'm going alone."

I had tried to stand in front of him to block him from running out the door and I had to grab him. "Dude, you know how many fucking MC's are out there? You know what could happen if we even find her house, show up on her doorstep and then God for fucking bid a whole bunch of riders follow us?" I know you want to see her man, she's my fucking twin sister. Believe me, I'm doing everything I can not to just bust out too. But, we gotta think smart. Think about her. Her safety.. Your son…" Jesus, Abel's 2 months old and I'm talking like some responsible parent. Scares the shit outta me, but, I know I'm right.

Tig looks at me and I haven't seen him look like that since Jess left. He's even got tears in his eyes. Man, when we end up finding her, it's gonna be intense as shit. One step at a time, Jax. Tig says in a quite voice "Please man, she's all I got.. and now my kid."

I think for a minute and fucking realize we gotta talk to Clay. Shit. That's just asking for another shit storm. Then I pause. Happy. He's fuckin' been everywhere and knows everyone…

"Happy." That's all I say and Tig lights up again. Man, he's hooked. It's crazy. 8 fuckin' years and it's god damn puppy dog love…

I pull out my phone and dial Happy. He picks up after the second ring. "Happy, it's Jax."

"What's goin' on? How's Clay?" I can tell it's a smartass comment.

"Great", I say sarcastically. "Listen, I need a big favor…. You got any connections with MC's in Jersey or New York?"

"What, you going on vacation? Clay sendin' you on some wild ass fuckin' goose chase?" He sounds completely baffled and I don't blame him. Shit's as weird as it gets.

I pony up and just tell him the truth, hoping he won't say anything. "We found Jess. She lives out there and we gotta see her."

There's a long pause and he finally says "Well, shit. That's some god damn crazy ass fucking shit. I'm not even gonna ask how the hell you found her cuz I don't wanna know what the fuck Tig did, and I'm guessin' he's the "we"?

I smirk at his comment. No lie. "Gemma, too man. She's our Mom. We haven't even told her yet."

"Alright, you gonna ride or what?"

Fuck. I suck at details. I think about it and that'd only draw more attention to ourselves.

"Shit, we gotta take the truck."

He says something that surprises me, "You can't wear your cuts or anything related to us. You gtta leave that shit in Charming or hide it when you're around people. I can still make a couple calls but you might just have to blend in as much as you can, man. Take Tig on a fuckin' shopping trip and get him all metro-sexed up….."

God, he can be an ass when he wants to be.

"You might wanna bring Opie, too. I know they were close and he's also another person to have around in case you get into it. Tig grimaces. Jealous wacko. I think about it for a second and it makes a lot of sense. He just lost Donna (Author's NOTE: Tig and Clay had nothing to do with her death, hence the "A/U". Clay's still an ass, but not that much of one.) Back to story: Opie might wanna get the fuck outta dodge. His mom is good with his kids and he needs a fuckin' break. Then I think about how Jesse might react to the four of us showin' up outta nowhere. No matter how put together she looks now, tiger's don't change their stripes. And her bite is worse than her roar. Fuck it. Safety in numbers, right? I realize there's bee like 5 minutes where I didn't say anything and since Happy hasn't said shit, I wonder if he passed out….

"We'll bring him". Surprsingly, Happy says "Alright, let me make a call. You gotta tell Clay something and good luck with Gemma." Then he just hangs up. God he's an ass. If he didn't know as many MC's as he did, I'd tell him to fuck himself but he's a useful guy to have around.

Tig's just been staring at his bottle, not saying shit and I say "Happy's gonna hook us up. We gotta wear civs and take the truck but if you want her, we can get her."

The guy fuckin lights up like the god damn Fourth of July. Makes me fucking sick. This crazy ass volatile potentially psychotic bastard is fucking happy as a god damn clam. It's like I'm in an alternate universe.

"Alright, then let's get Opie, Gemma and get the fuck on the road."

I look at him for a second and say "Man, we gotta fucking tell Gemma and Opie what's up. That's gonna be kinda nuts man. We'll get outta here tonight, man. I promise. But, I gotta fuckin' tell my Mom why we're hauling her ass across the country. Plus, I think she'll wanna know she's got another Grandkid and this one can talk and walk and shit. Probably…" Bustin' on my sister already. Great.

He sighs and runs his hand over his face. "Fine, fine, who first?"

"Let's get my mom first. She'll take a little longer. Opie'll just say yes or no and not ask questions.. I think.

The truth is, when Jess left all of us fell apart both on the inside and amongst ourselves. Shit got bad with everyone. She's just that kinda magnetic person that holds the shit together. Gemma tries and she's a hardass and keeps us in line, for sure, but Jess.. man, as lame as it sounds, she's one in a fuckin' million.

"Let's go find my mom. One thing at a time, man. We'll get there."

Tig just grunts but I'll take what I can get. Fuck. Mom. Jess. Kid. This is gonna suck.


	4. Chapter 4: Family

Chapter 4 w/brief Author's Note:

Hello. Thank you for the feedback thus far. I have honestly no idea what I'm doing and not used to this platform so mistakes might be common, which annoys me to know end. Hopefully as I get into this more, I'll figure it out. Speaking of which: I really don't know the path that this will take me on. I have short-term ideas, like it'll still be a little bit before we even meet Jesse. Also, not sure how much I'll weave in major plot points. Like I said in last chapter, in my story Donna wasn't killed by Tig on Clay's order. I plan to keep Opie around, but, no, no love triangle there. I could go on. I ask that you bear with me. I've read hundreds of stories but never written a single one, so I'm a fish outta water. That being said, *constructive feedback* is most welcome. Okay, I'm done now.

Chapter 4: Jax POV

So, here we are. Tig and I riding side by side to my Mom's. Abel is still in the hospital and I know Mom is at the house. My only hope is that Clay isn't. He wasn't at the club, but, he can be a sketchy mother fucker when he wants to be.. If he's there, this'll just be that much worse. Tig is still amped up to get the hell outta here and I can tell he's not totally on board with having Opie coming along. He's a possessive bastard that one. I try not to go down this path, but, I do wonder from time to time how much he had to do with her leaving. I think it was really the life of all of us. It pulls you in and you're done for. I zone out on all this while cruising down the familiar rode to my Mom's. Good. I don't see Clay's bike but Opie's is there. Well, this could either make things easier or more awkward. Opie has this way of chilling everyone out. It's like he's a human bag of weed for fuck's sake. Tig, of course, doesn't really think of him that way, only because this is about Jesse. He's such a whack job. I'm a great friend, I know. Even over the sound of our engines I hear Tig grunt when he sees Opie's bike.

We pull in the driveway and park and the second he shuts of his ride he says, "What the fuck man? I don't want to talk to them about this at the same god damn time. I can't even get the words out myself for Christ's sake."

I look at him like he's a moron and say "God your dick must have all your blood flow right now. She's my mom and he's my best friend. Who the fuck do you think is gonna do the talkin? And when the hell do we ever let you talk about stuff first anyway? As much as it skeeves me out, go jerk off first so your brain can work again." I know I'm poking the bear, but he's acting like a little bitch.

He looks at me and he's clearly pissed. I glare back at him telling him to calm the fuck down. I know this ain't easy for him. I don't know how I'd react if a girl I was so in love with just up and left and then I find out I have a kid with her. But, just like all of his asshats, at this point, I don't fuckin' care. I wanna tell my mom and Opie, get them to agree to come with us, and fuckin' figure out how to get to Jersey. Drive or fly. Hah. Us near Airport security agents. Bad fuckin' idea. "Take a breath, man, for real, my mom is probably gonna not react to this well and she's the one that matters most right now. It's her fucking daughter. Got it?"

He just sighs and nods his head. Good enough. We walk up the path to the house and for some reason I think I should knock. It's like a formal visit or some shit. But, Opie's in there and It's my mom so fuck it, and I walk in with Tig behind me.

"Mom?" I yell

"Jax? Baby? Everythin' ok? Is Abel ok?" The Mom in her comes out in force when I'm around. It's nice but in this moment, weird.

I see Opie come around the kitchen corner and he nods. Looks like he's not in the best shape. But, that weird new optimistic voice in me says "I think this news will help him." Yea, future social worker right here, folks.

I realize I hadn't said anything and also realized that my face gave me away so there was no way to sugar coat this one. I wasn't going to be quite as direct as Half-Sack was with Tig, but ripping the band-aid off makes the most sense.

I took a deep breath and said "We found Jess."

She froze. Like literally froze to the point I thought she was havin' some sort of heart issue. The asshole in me remembered after the fact that my fuckin' mother has heart problems. Good one, Jax. Opie, bein' Opie just kinda stood there letting it all play out and Tig just had his head down. I couldn't really figure that out but my attention was on my Mom.

Then I noticed. Tears. Pooling in her eyes and streaming down her face. My mom doesn't cry. Ever. I guess not all that surprisingly the last time I remember her crying is when Jess left. She's her only daughter after all.

She took a minute and said, "What do you mean found? Where is she? Is she alive? Shit. Just. Shit. What the fuck happened?" I could tell she was getting more worked up and I know that Tig feeds off of highly emotional situations so I had to just keep as calm as possible. Opie, bless him, put hand on her back and rubbed it calmly.

"Yeah, she seems okay. I saw a video of her. Half Sack randomly came across it on his iPad whatever thing. He showed it to me and it was her out with a bunch of friends." Wrong thing to say , apparently.

Her demeanor changed. "She's fine? She's fucking fine? I haven't slept a full night in 8 years because of her and she's out partying and capturing it on fuckin' candid camera!" She pulls out a cigarette and lights it hastily.

Outta nowhere, Tig says, quietly, and if possibly, humbly "She's beautiful Gemma." I knew what he wanted to say but couldn't bring himself to say it. He saw her just like I did. She's happy. Still those doubts are lingering if this is all worth it. But, too far into it now.

Like clockwork she says "Where is she?"

"Jersey" we said at the same time. Opie looked at us probably wondering how the hell we figured that one out. We all know Tig has done everything he can, like to crazy ass limits, to find her but I just say to Opie "Half-Sack helped."

Opie smirked and said "At least he's good for something."

My mom's just standin' there huffin' "Well, what the fuck are we gonna do about it, huh? Just sit on our asses or go find her and get some answers?"

"That's why we're here, Ma. We want you, and actually you too, Opie, to come with us" I say to both of them. I feel Tig clench and I just look at him again and he sulks like a fuckin' 5 year old. His kid is probably so much more mature than him. Shit. The kid. I gotta tell mom. I know if I don't, TIg will in some stupid way.

"Ma, there's one more thing…." I look at her.

She looks at me and says "God, what the fuck other kinda bombshell can you drop on me besides the fact that my fucking daughter is alive and well?"

Wrong question. Tig, being TIg says "We found out that she has an 8 year-old kid. A son. Ian. He's mine."

The way he says it hits me. However completely certifiable the guy might be, he seems to be accepting fatherhood pretty quickly.

Just like when she sees Abel, she says "I gotta another grandkid? Another grandson! How do you know? You got pictures?" Typical Gemma.

"No no no, Ma. It's all from the video. She was singing" I pause when I notice her really smile for the first time in that being proud of their kid kinda way "And we heard her friends ask about her kid and one of them asked how old he is and the shit just went from there."

"Ian" she says, softly. I glance at Tig and see his eyes glistening. Man. Being a parent really does fuckin' change you.

"Ok.. ok… who else knows besides you guys and Half Sack?" she asks.

"Happy." We say. I'm not worried about her reaction. She knows he's a real useful guy but I explain all the same "When we realized that she's across the God Damn country we had to think about how to get out there without raisin' 9 kinds of hell so we called him to see if he had contacts. MC's out there are a lot bigger so we gotta be fuckin' safe."

She got serious right away and said "What did he say?"

"We gotta just be real low key" I take a minute and glare at Tig because the fuckin' wild card is the one that just makes shit suck so much of the time. The funny thing is, is that him and Jess together were just two volatile substances and you never knew what was gonna happen. "We're gonna ride in the truck and just wear civs. Happy and Half Sack are tryin' to find like where her actual house or whatever is because all we know is she works in New York and lives in some town called Morristown."

She looks satisfied by that and then hesitates, "Who else knows?" I know what she's asking. Does Clay know? Clay and Jess had a really fucked up time of it and him knowing about her and where she's at is worse than Tig knowin. But, he's the President. Three SAMCRO's and the President's Old Lady can't just fuckin' take off across the country without tellin' Clay. Fuck. I see everyone else's expression, except Tig seems rebellious which is really wacked because most of the time, even though he doesn't wanna be, he's basically Clay's bitch. But, this is different… for all of us….

Opie steps up and says "We gotta tell him but keep it basic. Like instead of 'We found Jess', we say 'we think we found Jess' and us all goin' might be worth our while because Happy's helping us get in touch with the right people… " He hesitates and then says "Man, fuck, I dunna know. This is just crazy. I mean. Jess is alive and fine from what it sounds like and you're a fuckin' Dad" he says, as he looks at Tig. "I don't know if I'm scared or excited. Shit. Fucked up."

We all nod in agreement. I hear the sound of Clay's bike, and Bobby's, I think, gettin' closer and knew there was one more hurdle til we could actually do what we never imagined doing 12 hours ago.


	5. Chapter 5: Dodging Clay

Chapter 5: Tig

We're all still standin' in Gemma's kitchen just processing this craziness when Clay walks in. "Brothers. What's goin on?" I'll give him this. He's observant.

Opie, of all people stepped up. "Nothin'. Tig and I were at the club and figured Jax would be here. Just tryin' to drag him outta here before Gemma goes all Mama Boy on him." He chuckles. I'm fuckin' impressed. Not only by how well he can lie, but the balls he has to lie to Clay.

Gemma and Jax seem actually to be okay goin' along with it because sometimes you gotta fight the fights you know you can win. Fuck. Who am I kidding? I just want to get the fuck outta here. She's so close. Just everyone shut the fuck up and let's go. How Jax convinced me to wait … oh wait, my family's safety. Wow. My family. I have a family. A small smile comes to my face and fuckin' Clay says

"You just get laid? What the hell is wrong with you? You better not be high again…" He's got that don't fuck with me face. Now, I know if it ever came to it, Clay's not clearly as tough as he seems. But, the power he has is enough to keep me at bay, even in this situation.

Jax pipes up and says "He was gettin' some made head, sorry Mom, right before we left. I doubt blood's in his brain yet." Well, he wasn't completely wrong. I've been hard up since seein' that video. She's a Goddess man, pure and simple. Shit, I gotta control myself. I think about the kid. Doesn't do much for the hard-on but at least distracts me.

I'm thanking whoever that Clay can't see inside my head right now, because he just chuckles and says " Tig. You're one weird mother fucker." Well, I've been called worse. Then he says, "you gonna tell me what's goin' on?" Jax steps up and says "Happy called. He thinks that his sister is in some shit with an East Coast MC and wants us to help him look into it…" Shit. Not bad. I wonder if that means Happy's now comin' on this fuckin' adventure now too. Why do we just bring the whole damn club and call it a day?

But, Clay's smarter. "Why the fuck didn't he tell me? This isn't exactly a small favor."

I chose to step up, potentially realizing that honestly I could give a fuck about the club right now "We run guns, Clay. This is a bodyguard ask. You're still gonna have the whole rest of the crew." I look at Bobby with a glare and he nods his head. I get worried that Clay knows we're playin' him, especially because we've said nothin' about Gemma coming along.

But, the power-hungry cocksucker just says "Come back with results." He looks to Gemma and says "What are you doing?" Shit We didn't say shit about her coming with us. But she's Gemma.

"Sallie wants me to drop by. Some kind of drama with Mike." She says, referring to the drama between her sister and her husband. Honestly, though, sadly, or not so much, Jesse and I should win "Drama of the Year" Award in Real Life. The extra cash would help. God. I'm just sad.

I get back in the moment and see Clay chuckle. Shit. Does he really believe this? He's stupider than I thought. Another thing to add onto the growing list of things that eat at me since being his "right-hand man". My patience is lessening by the second. My anger. Everything. I gotta get it out somehow and Clay is my target right now. I look at him ready to just say that we're gettin' the fuck outta here no matter what he thinks but Jax sees me. He's been watchin' me like a god damn hawk.

"Clay, we'll be back by the end of the week." How he's handlin' this so well I don't know but this shows me he's got no problem lying to Clay whenever he wants. The SAMCRO in me wants to bust him on it but, for once in my life, I'm not thinking SAMCRO. Jess. Ian. The only two people I'm thinkin' about right now.

Clay nods his head and says "Fine. Enjoy the big city, boys." He smirks like he knows something. "Keep me informed." He then turns to Gemma and says "I'll see you soon, baby." He leaves the room to go who knows where and there's an awkward silence.

Gemma says "Ok, Jax, you and I are gonna see Abel before we go. I'll take my things with me and we can pick up your stuff on the way. Opie, Tig, go get your shit and meet us at the hospital. We'll leave your bikes at the club and take my truck." Damn she's good.

I walk out to my bike but I hear Gemma say "Tig…"

I turn around. Crap. She's got the Mom face.

"Yeah, Gem?" There's no point in hidin' all this from her. I basically moved in after Jess left.

"You ready for this?" I wasn't really sure what she meant by "this." Seein' Jess again? Talkin' to her? Tryin' to ask her to come back? Meeting my son?

Because she's Gemma and because I can't lie I said "I love her Gem. We've got a kid. I gotta see her…"

She nods and says "I know, baby, and I know how much and I wanna see her too but what if she's happy Tig? What if she just wanted out? Jax says she's doin' well for herself. Are we right thinkin' that we can just go get her and bring her back?" She's right. I know all of us have been thinkin' the same thing.

My need to see her clouds my judgement but I know this might cause more harm than good. I think about what Opie's been sayin' and said "Look, we all wanna go see her. Let's just get there and talk. If she tells us.. or me.. to fuck off and never come back, than that's what I'll do…" I don't believe the words coming outta my mouth but I know it's right.

She smiles. "Alright, baby. Go get your stuff. We'll meet you at the club." She gives me a kiss on the cheek and she and Jax take off. Opie stands there, whoops forgot about the "best friend". Opie and me. We're good. Just not when Jess is involved.

"Let's get out shit, man. We'll be out there by the end of the week. Just think about that." He says. Fuck. I'm gonna see my girl and my kid. For Real. I nod, try to fend off the odd panic feelings, and follow him out of the house.


	6. Chapter 6: Lost

Chapter 6:

Jax POV

After Mom told us the plan, I hopped in her truck to go to the hospital with her to see Abel. I gotta say, I'm really surprised at how together she seems. It's quiet for a minute while we both light up smokes. I take a drag, ash it out the window and say "How ya doin' with all this, Mom?"

She scoffs. "Lyin' to Clay ain't nothin' new, baby."

"Yeah.. that's not what I meant."

She side eyes me and says "No shit. I don't know how I'm doin. Just like you. Tig. None of us know. My daughter's alive and she's got a baby. I don't know what to think." She shrugs her shoulders.

It's quiet again for a while and I finally say what I've been thinkin' since I came up with this whole plan. "We doin' the right thing, here? Goin' to see her?"

Just like Gemma, she turns it around. "You think we aren't?"

I sigh. "You didn't see that video, Mom. She's fuckin' happy. Whatever life she's got now is a good one. Us just showin' up right in the middle of it could make that all go to hell for her. I know she's family and I'm pretty sure that there's no way I can get Tig to stay, but, I feel like she's better off without us showin' up…." I shrug my shoulders. I hate saying it out loud, but it's true. "Karen" seems like a real solid person and I love my sister too much to risk her happiness.

I wonder what Mom's thinking when I say all this. She's got her sun glasses on, masking her face.

"So… if you feel this way, then why we doin' all this? Why not just turn around, go back to the club and just go on with your day?" Now she's being smart but I get her point.

"Because she's family. Obviously. She's my fuckin' twin, my other half or whatever the fuck you used to call us when we were kids. 5 seconds on a stupid video isn't enough…" I huff out.

"Not to mention, nothin' and I mean nothin' is keeping Tig from goin' and I know he'd get himself in some fucked up shit without us…."

She chuckled and said "Yeah, this is really messin' with his psycho mind… Lord… I don't think I've seen him so weak since she was still around. My, times don't really change, do they?" She hummed.

We pulled into the hospital parking lot, parked and made our way in. "Now, baby" she said suddenly "If Tara's here, let's not start the dick dippin' today, okay? We gotta schedule to keep." She didn't even let me respond, just turned and walked in. I chuckled. Yeah, as cool as it's been to get to know Tara, right now, I wanna hang with Abel, then focus on my sister.

We check-in at security and make our way up to the NICU. I get those feelings man. Seein' the kid. My kid. Still hasn't sunk in that I'm actually a Dad. Even though the little guy is still a premie, he's a strong mother fucker and I know he's in good shape. When I found out I was gonna be a Dad, I fucked it all up. Now that Abel's here, though, he's what matters most. I think about that and I get why Tig's been doin' everything he can to just get the fuck to Jersey no matter what. The Lifetime Movie side of me, yeah, I've watched them, wants to call him and tell him to come down here so he can see me with Abel, but, I really only think he's gonna get that feeling once he sees his own kid. Still doesn't stop me from sayin' "I shoulda told Tig to come…"

My mom, who also seems to be lost in her own thoughts, looks at me like I have three heads. Yeah, that came out kinda weird.

"Why?" She looks baffled.

I pause trying to figure out what the fuck I'm trying to say. "He just found out he's a Dad. Figured him seein' me with Abel could help." I shrugged. What do I know? Calling Dr. Phil.

She laughed. Hard. Like outright laughed with her shoulders shaking. Yeah, next time, hah.. next time, just keep your mouth shut, Teller.

She tries to control herself and says "So…. You think you can offer Tig parental advice? Baby… while I know you're gonna be a great Dad… you've been a Dad from day 1. Tig? His kid has 8 years already. Tig seein' you and Abel ain't gonna make anythin' better when that all happens…" she trails off, sighing.

I can't help but ask "How do you think it's gonna go?"

I know my Mom is someone who sees shit as it is. She's real. She doesn't sugarcoat. She doesn't get her hopes up, so I know as I see she's thinking that she's gonna give me an honest answer.

"Painfully". She says after a few minutes. "I don't think any of us, including her, saw this comin'… She did what she had to do and we're doin' what we gotta do… and it ain't gonna be pretty. For any of us."

I go back to my main point and say straight up "You think it's worth it?"

She looks me dead in the eye and says "Yes. Now, lemme go say bye to my grandson… No idea if I'll get a chance to see the other one.." And walks into the room.

I chuckle and follow her.

Tig POV:

After Gemma and I had our little "truth moment", I had to get outta there. She wanted Opie to come with me to the club so I knew I had to wait for him but luckily he came right out.

"You ready, man?" He said

Ha. Am I ready? Part of me wants to punch him in the fuckin' face, part me of me wants to run around the nice quiet neighborhood screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at the top of my fuckin' lungs and part of me wants to curl up in and cry like a 10 year old girl.

I try to clear my head and say "Let's go." He nods, we get on our bikes and set off to the Club.

The memories are just hitting me all over the place. The Good…. Mmmmm… The Bad…. Just all of them. I know I still gotta few days before I even see her and I'm just tryin' to remember those last few months before she left. The big question (well, ONE of the big questions) I have is if she knew she was knocked up before she left? It doesn't matter really but I just gotta know.

I also wonder how this trip is gonna go. Looks like Happy was able to come through and if we gotta stop places, we got places where we can go without causin' any hell. I chuckle to myself because I don't know how to do anything without causin' hell but I also wonder what I'll do if we're in a club where other CrowEaters are comin' at me. Happens every fuckin' time we're on a ride. I never hesitated. Hot chick wants me.. fuck, even if she's not that hot, hell yeah, I'm in…. Jessie was always the one I pictured whoever I fucked, yep I'm pathetic. Can't say the number of times I've cum with some girl and yelled "Jesse" instead of whoever the fuck was in the bed. Sad part is that I didn't feel bad about it, and still don't. These Crow Eaters don't want me for anything more than sayin' they banged me, so why the fuck should they care or not who I'm thinkin' about when we're fuckin'?

I feel dirty. I'm a Dad. Man. I've gotta kid. Dad's don't do this shit. They don't fuck random ass chicks. Shit. Can I make it the next few days with possible pussy in my face and turn it away? End goal: Jess. Ian. I don't know shit about either of them. She might be fuckin' married and tell me to leave.

No. No Croweaters on this trip. With Jax, Gemma and Opie I actually feel better about my chances then if I was with Clay.

I don't like that we gotta leave our Cuts and, worse, rides' behind but I get it. I walk up to my room and start throwin' shit into my bad. Luckily, all my shit looks the same so it's just a bunch of jeans and shirts. As I'm digging through one of my drawers, I come across a photo album. Fuck. Fuck. Perfect timing. Just don't think I can open it right now. It's my life with Jess before she left. I toss it in the bag, zip it up and leave the room.

I see Opie (still can't believe he's coming!) and he says "Gemma and Jax'll just left the hospital.. You ready…?"

Not being able to hold onto it anymore I say (rather rudely) "Why you comin' man.. really?"

Opie smirks and I wanna punch him.

"I need this, man. I gotta get the fuck away from this place. Plus, Jess? You know her man, no matter who she is now. She knows how to fix shit. There's a lot of fuckin' shit that needs fixing." His face is set and I can see what he's trying to say. He's got hope that Jess can fix all of us. He's not the only one…

The jealous fuck in me says "anything more than that?"

Opie shakes his head like he would to one of his kids. "Man, she and Jax were my best friends when we were kids. When you and she got together, she was still my best friend. Let me tell you this straight the fuck up "THINKIN' OF HER ANY OTHER WAY BESIDES A FRIEND IS LIKE FUCKIN' INCEST." 8 years don't change that. You got it?"

I laughed my ass off. Literally. Just keeled over laughing. I deserved it. Still feel the way I feel but I'm now really glad Opie's comin' on this ride.

Suddenly, and out of nowhere, I say to him "I gotta favor I gotta ask…."

He looks at me and says "What….?"

I sigh, look him in the eye, hope to fuck he knows what I means when I say "Help keep me out of trouble on this ride."

He looks at me, chuckles and in all the sarcasm he can muster, says "An easy request. I love those!"

I smirk, and we get our shit together to meet up with Gemma and Jax.

This shit is getting' real…


	7. Chapter 7: More Bombshells, oh great

Chapter 7:

Tig POV

As I walk down the stairs to the bar, I see Happy standing there. I thought he was up north somewhere. He's got some kind of file in his hands and I'm wondering what this is all about. I look around and don't see Jax yet so I walk up to him and say "Happy, what's goin' on?" I'm thinkin' he's not here on SAMCRO business….

"What you got there, man?" Opie says from behind me.

Happy looks at us with his smirk. "Just a little more intel on your lady. Called in a few favors. Figured you'd want more than one video to go off of…"

The "called in a few favors" part worried me. I really didn't want it out there that a daughter of SAMCRO is just livin' her life, especially unprotected.

Happy saw my face. "Give me some credit dipshit, I know how to get what I need without raisin' red flags. Here" he says, shoving the envelope in my hands "it's good readin'. You better be prepared boys, this is one fuckin' smart chick. Don't be surprised if she knows you're comin…" He looks at me square in the eye when he's sayin' this and I got no idea what to make by it. It almost sounded like a threat. I turn to Opie and he looks just as confused as me.

Happy rolls his eyes and says "You gotta plan to get out there?"

"Yeah, we're goin' with Gemma. Leavin' our club shit here." Opie says.

Happy nods. "Good idea. At least you seem to be thinkin' this all out." He really is an ass.

I'm still chewin' on what he said a few minutes ago and I say "What'd ya mean when you said 'don't be surprised if she knows we're comin…"? Is this some kinda game?

"Look, Tig, you know she's brilliant, right, like certifiably brilliant?" He asks

I nod my head still not getting' what he's going on.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she knows who's seen that video of hers and once she saw you guys saw it, she started to think that you might show up. I'm not sayin' it's a definite or not, but you know this girl. How many times can you remember actually being able to surprise her with anything…?" I thought about that. Part of me actually hopes she's knowin' we're comin', and what Happy says makes sense. I got no idea how she'd be able to do that but, then again, I got no idea half the shit she's able to do.

"Last thing I'll say is that our girl has some big guns, like BIG, guns in her corner…" Happy says vaguely.

He's such a fuckin' pain in the ass. "What the fuck does that mean, Hap? I mean, seriously, why you talkin' in code for fuck's sake?" I ask.

He chuckles, of course. "I mean that she's smart enough to be wanted by some legitimately powerful people, like The Federal Fuckin' Government, okay boys? That", he points to the file in my hands "shows that she's helped them out in a lotta ways. You get her back here? I can guarantee you our ATF bullshit goes bye bye…" Jesus. What the fuck is in this fuckin' file? I'm glad Clay's not here to hear this because he'd just use her for it. Me? I just wanna see her. Opie? Jax? Same. Still…. I gotta read this and figure out what the fuck we're walkin' into…

I look at Happy and say "Thanks, man. Dunno why you felt like you had do all this, but, sounds like SAMCRO could benefit from her comin' home and that'll help. So, yeah, thanks.."

"That's why I'm here, brother. You keep me informed on all this, you hear? You don't gotta worry. I'm not gonna go runnin' to Clay… This girl matters to me too." He says. The look on his face is enough to let me know not to fuck him over on this.

I nod and Opie extends his arm to shake Happy's hand. "Thanks, man. Really."

Happy says "Make sure you show Gemma and Jax that, too. I'll see ya on the flip side brothers." And then walks out the door to God knows where.

I'm still holding onto the file and trying to just process what just happened. I look at Opie who seems like he's in the same state as I'm in.

"Let's wait to dig into that til we're in the car, dude." He says.

I nod but am barely able to restrain myself from findin' out what the fuck is in this file. I also can't shake the way Happy seemed to almost warn us about seein' Jess again, like she knows that we're around. No longer being able to hold it in, I say to Opie

"You think she knows we're coming?"

He scoffs. "Sounds like it."

"What do you make of that?" I ask him.

There's a pause and he finally says "I got no fuckin' clue, dude. This shit is just too fuckin' weird. Jess changin' her name. Your son. This weird fuckin' shit about the Feds I feel like I'm gettin' sucked into some fuckin' movie, man." He's right.

I sigh. I put the folder into my bag as I hear Jax and Gemma walk in. "You boys ready?"

No. I'm not. At all. "Let's go get our girl." I say with as much confidence as I can muster.

Jax POV:

I could tell Tig and Opie were on edge about something when we came to get them.

I saw Happy ridin' out when we were pullin' in and I bet that he had more intel to share with them. I'm tryin' to trust they'll tell us if we're walking into a bigger shit storm than just a family tryin' to find each other, but I just gotta ride it out.

"Your SAMCRO gear's all still here, right?" I remind Tig and Opie. I felt weird just wearin' normal clothes, but, knew it'd be safer.

"Yeah, we're good." Opie said. He had his beanie on but other than that, just a t-shirt, jeans and his boots. Tig had a ball cap, a button up, his jeans and boots. I chuckled. All of us still have our biker boots on. Well, we're tryin'.

I nodded and said "well, then let's go." We walk out to Gemma's truck. I grab shot gun, with Tig and Opie in the back.

Gemma gets in and says "You boys ready for this?" How many times we gonna ask ourselves this question, man.

Without a beat, Tig says "Not even a little bit, mama. But, fuckin' can't sit here and do nothin'…"

She nods. "It'll be alright, baby."

She pulls out of SAMCRO and we slowly start our trip East. It's quiet in the car but I can still sense that Opie and Tig have something on their minds they want to share.

Because I don't want to play any games, I say "What'd Happy have to say?"

I see Tig and Opie look at each other through the rear-view mirror. Tig sighs. "A lot. As always." He opens his duffle and pulls out a folder and puts it on his lap. "This is everything he could find on Jess. He gave it to me an Opie. Haven't looked at it yet but he had a lot to say and don't know what to make of any of it." He shook his head.

I looked back at him confused. "What do you mean, you don't know what to make of it?"

"Jesse's got connections, apparently, with the Feds…." Tig says. Fuck. What? What the fuck does that mean?

"What the fuck does that mean?" I say immediately.

"We don't know, man. Alright? Happy just fuckin' dropped this" Tig said, pointing at the file in his lap "and then was his dick self about warning us to be careful. It was weird. He also basically said that if she comes back with us, our ATF problems will go away. It doesn't make any fuckin' sense but there ya go…"

I say what's been on my mind since seein' the file, well, "What the fuck is in it? We got a lotta hours to kill…."

I look to my mom who's been quiet through this whole thing. I'm wonderin' what she's thinkin' about all of this when she says "Just open it already, you pussies." Glad to have her with us.

Opie looks to Tig and says, "Here, I'll do it…"

I'm hoping some of my 10 million questions about my sister can get answered now….


	8. Chapter 8: Who the fuck is my girl?

Chapter 8:

(A/N: Since is the first Fan Fiction I've ever written, I have to be honest. I have an idea where this is going. I have an idea of why she left and what happened. I have an idea of how it's going to be when they finally all are reunited. I have an idea of how Tig is going to react when he sees his son for the first time. But sometimes it's really hard for me to stay on course. I write how I think, stream of consciousness, so feel free to call me out if I seem to be going way off course. Also, the next couple of weeks are sort of crazy for me, but I'll do my best to update if you guys are liking this story. Thanks for reading.)

Tig POV

I wasn't sure why I agreed to let Opie look at the file, but, I guess it's because I'm scared of what I'll find.

He opens it and since I'm sitting right next to him the first thing we see is a picture of Jesse that's a mug shot from when she was 19. I remember that day. She beat the shit outta some guy that came after her and I had tried to step up first, but because she's a feisty kitty cat she handled it. She was arrested and charged with aggravated assault but the Club's Lawyer was able to argue self-defense so the charges were dropped. Given what a hellion she was back then, it's actually pretty amazing she doesn't have a permanent record.

Both Opie and I smirked at the photo as we remembered that day. That's oddly probably the day I realized that she's the one I wanted to spend my life with.

"So, whaddya got?" Jax says impatiently. I can tell that he wants answers as much as I do. "It's the mug shot from when she got arrested." I say with a chuckle.

Gemma scoffs. "I still can't believe that Hunser arrested. That was such bull shit." Typically Gemma. She's a real lioness when it comes to protecting her kids.

Opie flips to the next phot and my heart seizes. I can tell automatically it's one taken after she left and it makes me wonder who took it and why we never saw it until now. What grabs me is that I see the baby bump where my son is.

Opie looks at me cautiously and says "You sure you wanna keep goin?" At this point we're sitting so that Jax can see too. Oddly enough he doesn't get why I react the way I do.

"What? What's up with you…?" Opie and I look at him with a "Seriously?" face and I show him the baby bump.

"Wow, it's really real. You've gotta kid." Yeah, tell me about it.

And then there it is. The next photo, again, it looks like there a lot of time in between because it's of her and our son playing on a playground. I can't believe it. That's my kid. I feel tears coming to my eyes and quickly blink them away. But, I'm not fast enough and Opie puts his hand on my shoulder. All he says is "I know dude, I know…"

Jax has a similar reaction. "That's how I get every time I see Abel."

Gemma's been quiet but mostly because she's driving. She notices our reaction and says "Is that a picture of my grandbaby? Show me."

Jax chastises her. "Mom, you're driving."

In her typical snarky manner she says "I can do two things at once. Show me…"

I pass the photo up to her and she says what I realized when I first saw. "Tig, he's like a spitting image of you."

Even though the photo was taken from a little bit of a distance, I can see the resemblance. I think that's what shakes me the most. It's proof.

The next few photos look as though they're one's that were taken at her job or something. There's one where she looks like she's giving some sorta talk. There's one where she's at some sort of high class event, looking drop dead gorgeous as usual. Two things stuck one: The caption had her new name and her tattoos were gone. Or covered up at least. I don't really know what to make of that. It seems like she's a completely different person.

Opie and I keep flippin' through the file and they're a bunch of articles on all the shit she's accomplished and stories about her. There were some with photos and, again, she almost looks like a stranger. What's weird is the video we saw that started this whole thing showed her as I remember her. It's seriously like she's two different people. I just sorta sit there tryin' to process it all.

Jax seems to be on the same page as me because he says "This is weird, man. In that video she looks pretty much the same as she did before we left, but these photos of her at these events make her look like a completely different person. If it wasn't for her eyes and her face, I don't think I could tell.. Even her tattoos are gone. What the fuck happened that made her change so much."

I sighed. "As much as it kills me to say this, man, it looks like she's changed for the better."

Gemma pipes up "Family is family, Tig. You can't forget your own flesh and blood. And, in your case, you can't run away from your heart." I know I can't and I guess that's what she means by Jesse too.

I wonder again about those photos of her by herself that look like someone was following her. I can't help but ask "Who do you think took these one's?" I point the one of her pregnant and the other with *our* son.

"Part of me think Happy knows a shit more than he's tellin' us, especially with the weird BS about how connected she is." Opie says. I sight. I gotta agree with him. Happy was really sketchy when he was tellin' us about her. So far, though, it's just a bunch of normal pictures. Of course, I didn't read the captions of who she was photographed with and Jax said, "read the captions, man."

I go back to the news clippings and it shocks the shit outta me.

"Holy shit. This says this guy is the fuckin' FBI director. Like the Director of the mother fuckin' FBI." What the fuck does she do for these people? I know she doesn't do anything like rat on us about our stupid ass gun runnin' and other shit because the fuckin' FBI woulda been up our asses. But, ever since that douche ATF agent started sniffin' around it makes me wonder if she had anything to do with it. I know in my heart that she didn't but she was a trouble maker and she knows a lot of shit.

"I think it's cuz she can fuckin' hack into anything, man. I bet they need her to help monitor shit or whatever or design like systems to help block that shit…" Opie says after a minute. I think about it and it makes sense.

Jax and Gemma seems to agree. "I know my girl and she's got brains I can't even imagine. It doesn't surprise me that she's in such demand."

I sigh again and shut the file even though there's more shit in there. I take a deep breath, roll down the window and light up a smoke. I fill my lungs and slowly exhale. I don't know what to think. I wanna see her, I want her back, I want my kid in my life. I wanna know him. But I can't help think she wants nothin' to do with us. If she did, she woulda reached out at least. She woulda told us what the fuck she's doin'. She woulda told me I'm a Dad. I'm also still confused why the fuck Happy had all this shit and never shared it.

"Why do you think Happy never said anything? It looks like he's been keepin' tabs on her this whole time. And, he just keeps his mouth shut? I've been lookin' for her for years and it's like he knew she where she was all along. What the fuck is up with that?" They can all tell I'm pretty pissed at this point but I feel like I have a right to be. Part of me wants to call him and lay into him but I can almost guaran fuckin tee he won't pick up or just blow me off.

"It's fucked up, man. This whole shit is fucked up. It's like somethin' happened that made her leave, or made her drop off the grid, man." Opie says.

We're all quiet for a minute and Jax finally says "What if somethin' happened? I mean, think about it, one day she's here, the next day she's gone. And all that she left was a fuckin' one line note.

I remember findin' that note after coming home from a run we had just for that day. All it fuckin' said was "I love you all. Goodbye." I remember bein' scared shitless at first cuz it seemed like a God damn suicide note. But, I know my Jesse. She'd never do somethin' like that. We've all had shit lives and Clay treated her like God damn shit, but I know she'd never do something like that. I knew she left. Her bike was gone. And some of the shit that mattered most to her was gone, too. That makes me look at the file again. I'm goin' fast enough that Opie notices. "What's up man?" I don't say a word. I find the one of her at that event lookin' all dolled up and I see it. A necklace. With my ring. The ring I gave her promising to love her for the rest of our fuckin' lives. The ring I gave her when I told her she's it and I wanted her to be my wife. Son of a bitch. She still has it.

I can't help but smile and Opie looks over my shoulder. "Well, I'll be damned. Looks like she didn't cut all ties, man."

"What are you talkin' about?" Jax says.

"Look at her necklace" says Opie.

"Wow. Her necklace has Tig's ring." He says to Gemma.

"I don't know why you boys are surprised." I'm staring at the photo but look up suddenly.

"Whaddya mean?" I ask.

"You never forget your firs love and you can never escape your past, honey. Trust me, I know."

I try to find the year the photo was taken. I smile again. Looks like it was just a few months ago. Hope. I can't believe it. It gives me hope. For us. For our family. For the future. I know seein' her, well, confronting her is gonna suck and I know I gotta control my anger and pain for her leavin', but seein' this makes me think we gotta chance.

They all notice and Jax says "This is a good thing."

I'm scared shitless but I smile. "Yeah, yeah it is."

I finally close the file and look out the window again. My girl. I'm comin' baby.


	9. Chapter 9: Master Manipulator

Chapter 9: (It's a wicked short one, but just had to get it out. I might add more. But, obviously a little more background. You all probably saw it coming.)

Clay POV (A/N: Yup, weird, like I said stream of consciousness)

I knew the second the boys and Gemma told me what they were doin' it was a crock of shit. I didn't call them on it. I just let them go on their way. I ain't worried. I know why they're goin' to Jersey. That was a dead giveaway.

Jess.

I smirk. Oh if they can get her back here, that's gonna be fun. Tig's a whipped little bitch around her. Opie's her fuckin' shadow. She's got Gemma's spunk and then the twin thing with Jax. But they don't know. Heh. If she comes back with them I haven't decided if I'll say anything or just keep diggin' at her. Depends on my mood. Depends on how the guns are runnin'. Depends if she can keep these boys in line. They're SAMCRO first. That's all that matters. I know her, though. She stands up. She fights back. I grin. Lookin' forward to it little lady.


	10. Chapter 10: Memories

Chapter 10:

Jax POV

After lookin' through some of the file Happy gave us, I got lost in my thoughts. She looked so different now. I try to remember the video and if she had her tattoos but I wasn't sure. I remember when she got each one. She got her first when we were 15, even before me. Mom didn't really bat an eye. She knew it was coming. It's a bird on her shoulder blade. I remember makin' fun of her sayin' how much it was gonna hurt, but, man she didn't bat an eye. Barely moved. It's like she didn't feel a God Damn thing. I remember when Tig and her got tattoos together. I first thought they were gonna do that lame ass shit where it was each other's name or like half a fuckin' heart. It was a little cooler, though. They both got infinity signs on their wrists. I thought it was interesting for Tig cuz he usually got bigger ones. But I liked it. It was simple and I could tell what that meant. I knew Tig was diggin' her when she was only 16. That was a little fucked up but she was always the most adult of all of us. We've all had tough lives but she had it worse. I don't know why the fuck Clay treated her like he did but it was bad. I don't really even know but it was bad. As I think about it, I really think he's the reason she took off and that fuckin' pisses me off.

As I'm just staring out the window, Mom looks at me and says "You okay, baby?"

I don't know how to answer that. No, I'm not. Yesterday I had no clue my sister was still alive. Now I find out she is, she's some successful genius, she's got a kid, a life, friends. She just looks so free. That video man. I keep goin' back to it. When she was signing up there. I swear it was the happiest I seen her in a long time. Sure she and Tig were happy together but they were hot and cold a lot. Or, at least she was. She can be wicked closed off and just have this wall. I'm her twin and I can't even get through sometimes. Tig was able to finally but it took a lot of work, and, oh boy there was a lot of fuckin' drama.

I realize I'm still lost in my thoughts but Mom seems to get it. I finally answer "I don't know." We're talking softly and I hear Tig and Opie having their own conversation. I hear them say "Clay" a few times but I'm too focused on my sister to really listen in.

"Whaddya thinkin' about? I mean, I know, Jess, but you seem stuck in your head" my Mom says. Sometimes I hate how observant she is.

"I'm just remeberin' our life before she left. How hard it was to read her. How she'd push us all away or at least try to. Her and Tig. Her and you. Her and me. Her and Clay… " I pause tryin' to figure out what I'm actually tryin' to say "And then that video. We gotta figure out a way to show it to you. She was just so happy. She just seemed like some sorta weight was off her shoulders or something. It just guts me. I mean, maybe she's still the same and maybe singin's her thing, but the whole thing is weird…"

Gemma nodded. "That girl could be a block of stone when she wanted to be. Frustrated me to no end. All a mother wants is for her kids to be happy and safe but I could never read her and it wasn't like she talked about shit like that a lot. Your Daddy was like that, though. So, maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And she changed a little with Tig, I think. She was easier to read when they got together. I could tell when things were good, I could tell when things were bad. She didn't really ever talk about when they were fightin' but, it was easier to know to help her.. She's just the way she is. Maybe she's changed now. I'm sure her son has changed her. You know that. Hell, Tig just found out he's a Daddy and he's already changing…"

I listen as she talks everything out and nod my head. She's dead on right. Don't surprise me. Gemma knows us in and out.

I look back at Tig and see he's shuttin his eyes. Opie's gotta book, big surprise.

"You think Tig's gonna be okay? You think he's ready for this…?" I ask quietly. Talkin' about someone when they're a few feet away isn't really the best idea, plus, it's Tig and he'd just get annoyed. Tig annoyed stuck in a car with three other people is a bad combination.

She sighs as she lit up a smoke. She takes a long inhale and slowly lets the smoke out. "I don't know, baby."

I wanna ask her somethin' but I don't know how… I gather my thoughts and as simply as possible, I say "You think Clay's the reason she left?" I say it as quietly as possible cuz I know if Tig heard he'd get pissed. Not at me accusing Clay, but, cuz I think he thinks it too..

My mom doesn't say anything for a minute, but, I can tell she's bothered. I don't really know if they love each other, to be honest. I just think it's one of those "they're with each other." She looks over at me and briefly nods. Her eyes are watery and I'm sure it's hard for her. The guy she's choosin' to spend her life with is a possible reason why she lost her daughter.

I know I might be treading dangerously, but, I can't help but ask "Why do you think Clay was so hard on her when we were younger?"

Her answer really surprises me. "As observant as I am, baby, I really didn't even notice. I dunno why and I'm upset with myself. I could tell they didn't get along but whenever we were all together, it was tense but he didn't do anythin' that made me worry…" I heard the guilt in her voice. I didn't want that for her. None of us really pressed Clay or Jess what the fuck was goin' on. Part of me worries if he got physical with her… abusive or even worse. It sickens my stomach and as much as I wanna ask my Mom, I know I can't. That's just too tough…

She suddenly says "Let's take a break. Get outta the car for a few.." I wonder where that came from but maybe she just needs a minute. We've been drivin for like 8 hours without a break so I'm sure we need gas. Looks like we're eastern Nevada, or even Utah. I dunno. I don't even know if Utah is next to Nevada. That's Jess. Not me.

Opie notices Gemma slowin' the car and says "Gemma, everything ok?" I see Tig open his eyes and wonders the same thing.

"Yeah, I'm fine boys. Need to use the little girls room and figured we should stretch our legs. This is a long trip and I know we wanna go straight through… Jax, baby, you wanna drive next?" She says as she parks the truck.

"No problem, Ma. Looks like you could use some rest."

We all get out of the car and take a minute to stretch. It feels good to stand up and be outta there. Part of the reason I love my bike so much is cuz I get the freedom of feelin' the air. I'm not stuck in a box. I'm not some clasterphobic but I it's the freedom of the road. I miss my bike and I know the guys do too but I know it's for the best. Luckily, we haven't seen any bikers yet. We're on a fuckin' Interstate so I don't expect runnin' into any of them until we get off wherever we're goin.

I see my Mom just starin' out into space and I walk over to her. "What's goin' on Mom? I know you're upset. I mean, I know we all are, but tell me…"

She sighs. She looks at me and I can tell she's cryin' even under her sunglasses. "I just can't believe we found my baby. And she's gotta baby." She smiles and chuckles.

"You've been a grandma a lot longer than you thought." I snicker cuz I know at first she didn't like the thought of being a Grandma when I found out Jax was comin'.

She laughs and slaps my arm. "I'm the best grandma there is and I know I'm gonna love Ian the minute I meet him."

I put my arm around her shoulder, and glance back at Tig and Opie. Opie is as Opie does and I can tell Tig's lost in his thoughts. Man… we're all a mess. I guess I'm expecting a lot but I'm hopin' Jess is the one to fix us.


	11. Chapter 11: Holy Shit

Chapter 11

Chapter 11 (plus brief Author's Note… Again)

A/N: So, question for anyone willing to answer. Does this story make sense so far? Like I've said, I'm a stream of consciousness writer and currently it's taking me in a bit of a different direction than when I originally started (like 3 days ago, hah.) For those of you who write stories of your own, how do you do it? Feel free to respond her or PM me. Eager to here any advice. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Tig POV:

During our ride I hear bits and pieces of Jax and Gemma's conversation. It's hard not to. When Jax starts to press Gemma a little on Clay and what the fuck went down with him and Jesse, I pay attention to how Gemma reacts. Part of me thinks she's hidin' something and part of me thinks she just doesn't know and is too afraid to ask. Clay can be pretty fuckin' manipulative when he wants to be, but, Jess, she's just too smart for him. It all just doesn't add up. I feel it that he's got somethin' to do with all of this. The one thing I can't figure is how much Gemma knows. It's her fuckin' daughter. She wouldn't have lied to Clay and come with us if she knew somethin'… unless it was guilt. I know my thoughts are getting' me into trouble so I just turn to Opie and say the most boring thing ever. "What's up, man?" He's looking out the window and I'm bettin' he's thinking of Donna.

"I just miss her, man." He sighs. I can't imagine. Even though I didn't know what the fuck happened to Jesse, somehow I knew she was still alive. If somethin' like that ever happened to her, I'd never come back.

"It's good you're here, man." I say. I honestly don't know what the fuck to say in this situation. Opie and I have never really been close and when Clay thought he was ratting on us, shit got tense wicked fast, but I know who he is. A good guy. A solid guy. Again, my thoughts turn back to Clay. I sigh and light up a smoke.

"How 'bout you, man? How you holdin' up?" he looks at me.

I chuckle. It's actually pretty fuckin' funny in a demented and tragic sorta way. "Gods honest truth, I got no fuckin' idea. I ain't the kinda person to be able to handle shit like this well. I mean.. Jesus Christ.. I gotta kid! Me. That, like, shouldn't be legal or some shit…"

Opie cuts me off. "Stop doin' that shit, man. When you and Jess were together, it was different. You were like destined or some shit to be a Dad. Not have that whole bullshit white picket fence thing, but you know what I mean…"

I scoff. "Well, either way, it's just wacked. And here we are just droppin' everything and goin' out there not knowin' what the fuck we're walkin' into," I sigh. My girl never liked surprises.

Opie smiled. I swear to fuckin' God he's got weed in his damn veins. He's always so fuckin' chill. "One way or another, brother, it'll work out…"

I notice that we're slowin' down and wonder what's goin' on. When Gemma says she wants to get out and take a break, I wonder what she and Jax had been talking about. Even though she had her sunglasses on, I could tell somethin' was bothering her. But, the thought of being able to walk around for a few minutes appealed to me too.

Gemma parks not far from the service station and we all get out. My joints crack and I feel a little better. I'm a biker. I'm meant to be on a bike on the road not stuck in some car. But, I know why we're doing what we're doing. It feels weird without my cut, but, I'm slowly getting used to it. After Jax says somethin' to Gemma, she walks towards the ladies room. The three of us are just standin' around, shootin' the shit, when my phone rings. I groan thinkin' it's Clay, Happy or Bobby. None of whom I want to talk to. I look at the Caller ID and it says "RESTRICTED". My puzzled face draws Jax and Opie to say "What?" I show them and Jax says "Just answer it…"

I press talk and just say "Tig."

"Hiya Tigger." I hear on the other end. Fuck. Me. I literally can't breathe. I have to stumble to hold onto the side of the car so I don't fall the fuck over. Jax ad Opie look at me wonderin' what the fuck is goin' on and I can't even think straight but I finally manage to say…

"Jesse." Tig and Opie immediately look at me in alarm, confusion and what looks like happiness. I'm in the same state brothers. "How… How… uh… shit… uh… it's really you, Kitty Kat?" I say. I feel like a dumbass that I can't even get a sentence out but fuck, man, didn't see this one comin'.

Her next words nearly send me to my knees. "Yeah, baby, it's me."

I know I got tears runnin' down my face and I see Jax and Opie just starin' at me wondering what the fuck is goin' on and what she's sayin'. I give them as much as a sign as I can that I'm alright, even though we all know I'm not.

"How did you get my number?" I have no idea why the fuck that's what I choose to say but the state of shock clearly is in full effect.

She chuckles. "You know me Tigger. I can find anything." I can feel her smirking and part of me chuckles, while part of me wants to go off on her. 8 fuckin' years and she thinks she can just chit chat like we used to? I know I can't get into it with her right now. Fuck. I dunno even why the fuck she's callin' but in the pit of my stomach I have a suspicion of what she's gonna say.

After a minute she says "So, you saw the video?"

I didn't even take a beat "Saw and heard."

She sighs. She knows what I meant. That's the only way I can think to tell her I know we've gotta kid together. Talkin' at some fuckin' rest stop in the middle of the god damn country ain't no way to deal with this shit.

"I can't go there right now, baby." I wince when she calls me that. Tigger. Baby. Too many fuckin' emotions are flyin' in my face. "All I need to say is that you shouldn't come out here. I'm not saying that because I don't want to see you, because for 8 years, Tigger it's just been you and all I want is us to be a family, I'm just saying that I need you to listen to me and trust me when I say you can't."

Of course she says that I knew she'd fuckin' say that. But, it's different. There's fear in her voice. Concern. For me. For her. I wanna fuckin' know why.

"Tell me why and I won't." No more of this b.s. with her. She's a master at bein' cagey and I can't deal with that shit right now.

"Tig. I'm callin' you from a blocked phone. You and your friends can't trace it. My job bio says I live in New Jersey but who's to say that's true? I'm not trying to hide from you. BELIEVE ME." When she says that, I hear it. The desperation. "I'm just asking that you take a pause and we talk over the phone,, okay?"

No. I already know that no matter what I'm goin' out there and I know that even though I'm about to lie to her, she's still gonna know I'm comin out there, but I do it anyways, "fine" I huffed. "You gonna talk to me now or we gonna talk sometime else?" I say, impatiently. I fuckin' want answers and I want them now. I wanna know what the fuck is goin' on and who the fuck is threatening her and our kid, cuz I know that's what this is.

"I can't get into it now. I have shit all day. How about I call you after Ian goes to sleep? Around 10, my time. Promise me you'll be heading west by then, Tig."

Ain't the first promise I broke to her, and won't be the last. Never cheated and never would but when it comes to her safety and what she wants, I don't give a damn. But, because we're us I say "Alright, baby." I quickly add on "But, if you don't call tonight, I'm turning around. Deal?"

I hear her huff and can picture her face. I smirk because of how cute she is when she's annoyed.

"Fine. I gotta go. Bye, Tigger." She says

Before she hangs up the phone I say "Bye Kitty Kat."

I hang up the phone and do the last thing I expected. I fuckin' start laughin' my ass off. Like uncontrollably just laughin' hysterically. Jax and Opie just look at me havin' no idea what to say and I see Gemma walkin' back over. I'm still laughing and honestly wondering if I'm able to stop.

"What the fuck happened to you? I thought Opie was the stoner…" she says, chuckling.

Jax piped up right away and sucked the humor outta Gemma. "Jesse just called him… I think…"

She looks at me waiting for an answer. "Oh yeah, that was my girl." I'm still chuckling. "She doesn't want me comin' out there. She wishes we could be a family… WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKIN' HAPPENIN'?" I scream at the top of my lungs. I wanna punch somethin' bad. Yep. I'm gone. I can feel myself gettin' more worked up by the second and I know what I need to do. I walk over to Jax and grab his shoulders. He looks at me freaked out and Opie and Gemma just don't know what to do.

"Knock me out, man. Just knock me out. Seriously. You gotta do it." Yeah, I know. Odd request. We're brothers, that's what we do. Plus, I know it's what I need.

This isn't the first time I asked Jax this so he shakes his head and says "You sure?"

"Yeah, man. Knock me out and when I come to, I'll be alright."

He smirks. "You really are a twisted mother fucker, Tig." And then proceeds to punch me in the temple. I don't even feel myself goin' down before I black out.


	12. Brief Author's note

Hi everyone,

First of all, thanks so much for the favorites and reviews. It's really cool as I've never done this before. I know it's been a little while since I've updated and I'm hoping to this weekend. I'm sorry for the delay. There were some work deadlines, work changes and some life stuff that came up during the past two weeks that took my focus off of this. Also, I'm trying to figure out where I want this story to go. I don't want Jesse and Tig to see each other right away and, when they do, I don't want them to just "jump back in". It's also really important for me to explore and focus on the relationships between Jesse, Tig and the other characters, like Gemma, Jax and Clay. So, I definitely have plans and I hope you'll stick with me! I will do my best to get an update out by the weekend :-) Thanks for reading.


	13. Chapter 12: The beginning of answers

Chapter 12:

A/N: Like I said previously, sorry for the delay. I still don't know quite where I'm going so please tell me if you guys feel like this story's going, so please tell me if you think it's way off track. Yeah, what happened between Jesse and Clay is serious and dark. I'm still trying to figure out how to write that part. Hope this one's okay.

Jax POV

I think I'm in shock. Not because Tig asked me to knock him out because the crazy ass bastard has asked me to do it a whole shit load of times, especially when it comes to Jesse. Jesse. That's the surprise. She fuckin' called him. She knows we're on our way there. She knows we saw the video. What. The fuck. Happy was right. My sister fuckin' knows everything. I didn't hear everything but I could see how Tig reacted. I know this fucked him up. Especially her sayin' don't come out there. Well, fuck her, Tig needs her, I need her, Mom needs here, hell, even Opie needs her.

I'm picking up my phone and dialing before I can even think. I need fuckin' answers and I know who can give 'em to me.

"Well, how's the trip?" Happy says when he picks up the phone.

"Jesse just fuckin' called Tig and the bastard lost it and I had to knock him out. She knows we saw the fuckin' video and she knows we're our way out there. I want fuckin' answers and I want them now." I'm done with Happy's sketchiness. He knows shit and this is my fuckin' sister.

For the first time, I hear Happy sigh. It's almost a defeated sigh where he knows he has to come clean.

"You sure you wanna know? You gonna be able to handle it? You gonna be able to talk to Gemma and Tig and Opie?"

Of course I don't know. But I don't care. "Yeah, man, just tell me.."

There's a pause and he finally says "Alright…"

At this point, Tig is still out cold and my mom and Opie are just lookin' at me knowin' Happy's finally gonna give us some answers. I think of putting it on speaker, but I decide not to cuz Lord knows what the fuck Happy's gonna say. I put my finger up to Opie and my Mom signaling to give me a minute. Mom just glares but finally nods and Opie, bein' Opie, just nods.

"You know some shit went down with her and Clay, right?" Happy says.

I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and for the first time in this conversation, I hesitate. Yeah, of course I know but have no idea what and I'm honestly scared to find out…

"Yeah just not what…" I finally say.

"Jesse's gotta be the one to tell you everything, man, but he basically gave her a choice: Get the fuck out of Charming and away from everyone and cut ties, or he'd make her life a livin' hell. The only reason I know is cuz I overheard it. That's the Gods honest truth." Happy finally says.

Well, it's not enough of an answer, I think, but it's a start. I'm pissed at Clay. Enough that I want to drive back and fuckin' tie him to a chair and make him tell us what the fuck he was thinking sending my fucking sister away. But, I need to see her. Even though I wasn't the one talkin' to her, I heard her and I can tell that she wants us to know. She's scared and she needs us. It's gotta be the twin thing.

My mouth gets the better of me. "Well that's helpful." I say, sarcastically.

"Listen man, this shit's all fucked up and I didn't know what to do, alright? But, there's more…" Happy says.

I feel like I know what he's gonna say before he says it.

"She called me a few times since she's been away." Happy says.

That's it. I knew it. I didn't know it at the time, but since this whole fuckin' thing started, I knew he had to have been talking to her.

I can't help it. "Why the fuck didn't you say anything, man? What's she got on you to keep you quiet?"

"She's like a daughter to me, Jax. She begged me not to say anything and I know she trusts me and the only way I was gonna keep that trust was by keepin' quiet. We only spoke maybe 4 or 5 times in those 8 years, man, and when we did it wasn't for long." He says.

I can sense his desperation. I know he's tellin' the truth. When he says "like a daughter" I know that, but the emotion makes it seem like she's his real daughter. So, that's sorta one piece of the puzzle down. Some bombshells: Clay scarin' her out of town, Happy still takin' to her. I know Tig's gonna flip. He's gonna flip at Clay and wanna tie the asshole up and beat him to a pulp for questions. He's gonna wanna smack Happy with a baseball bat for not tellin' him that he's been talkin' to her. I hesitate and try to think what I should say to Tig, Opie and my mom. I know I gotta tell them the truth but I try to figure out a way to word it.

One question's still on my mind: "Did you call her after we saw the video?" It has to be the only way.

"No man, that's what I've been tryin' to tell you. You know she's a fuckin' genius and always has been. I don't know how that fuckin' tech shit works but somewhat she put some program in where it, like, notified her you were watchin. I seriously have no idea how and I doubt Half-Sack would either.

Before I can think I say "Does that mean she knows what we've been doin' all this time too? Like she's been spyin' on us or some shit?" I'm starting to get pissed at her. I love her but she can be so cagey and closed off that it comes across as sketchy.

"No, no, it's all some program tied to that video and whatever else she's got online. She hasn't been watchin' you or some shit. It's all, like, this thing she was able to do in the computer. I ain't got no clue how or whatever and I doubt we can figure it out. Like I said, she's a smart bitch" I grimace at his word, but I know it's true. "Clay's our President, man. And he's got a lot of connections and can do some fucked up shit. I didn't know what would happen if he found out I heard what he said to her but I know she's doin' all of this cuz of him. I don't think she's been workin' with the FBI on comin' after him or us, I honestly think it's fuckin' coincidence. I know that might sound stupid, but, she's fuckin' as smart as they come and you know, even though she's a hot headed nutcase" (Again, I sigh. Happy never minces words, but he's right.) "She's fuckin' smart as shit and I think they just need her. You never know, she could be helpin' us but I know she's doin' something she wants to do. Maybe it's her way of getting' over all the shit that she went through here. I dunno. I know you're pissed at me, man, and you have a right to be, but she and Clay are the only one's that know the whole story and you know you ain't getting' shit from him. You gotta just step up to her and push her to tell you…."

I know he's right. I know Clay won't say shit. And I know if I can get my sister in the right moment, she'll tell me. We're blood. And Tig and her are fuckin' soul mates or some romance crap like that.

There's one more question I gotta know. "Did you know she has a kid?" Not sure I want the answer to this one, but, have to ask it anyway.

"No man, I swear to God I didn't know that… That's the bombshell to me, as much as you. I feel like that might be part of what made her leave, but I didn't really think about it til you told me about the video. Like I said, when she and I talked, she didn't tell me much…"

I can feel he's tellin' the truth and I see Gemma and Opie tryin' to grab my attention. Tig's comin' around. Shit. Maybe my punch gave him a concussion and he's got brain damage (more than usual) and he forgot about her callin' him. I know I gotta tell them what Happy told me. This ain't gonna be fuckin' fun and I got know idea how I'm gonna pull it off.

"Alright man. I believe you. I'm still fuckin' pissed at you but I'm more pissed at Clay. We're gonna go see her because fuck her and her warnings. We can handle it. We're fuckin' SAMCRO after all and if Clay knows, he knows and I'll deal with him. You know Tig. Even though he can be Clay's bitch, it's not that way when it comes to Jesse… I ain't lookin' forward to tellin' them but I'll figure it out. I'll try to not get Tig to tear you a new one, but no promises, man. That call really fucked him up and not sure what he's gonna be like. But, he's wakin' up and I gotta go. I need you to swear on SAMCRO you're gonna fuckin' do this for me, though…"

I can hear Happy sigh and I can sense he knows what I'm gonna say. "If she calls you anymore, you gotta fuckin' tell us. Or me…."

"I know man, I know. I'll be on the lookout for Tig, either if he comes tearin' back here or calls me…" He sorta chuckles cuz he knows Tig's gonna need to do something.

"Alright, man. We'll talk later." I hang up the phone and walk over to Opie and Gemma. Tig's still slowly comin' too so I'm hoping I can at least say something quick to them before he wakes up. "Listen, it's complicated and still gotta a lot of questions, but it's Clay. He gave her some sort of ultimatum. Happy doesn't know more than that and I believe him. I know, and you know, we ain't getting shit from Clay if we go back there, so we gotta just get it out of Jesse. I'm pretty sure she knows we're comin', even though she said not to.

Gemma glares at me and I can tell she's pissed. Clay's a piece of shit and I still don't know why they're together but I see it's gotta be fuckin' hard on her. Opie just sighs and says "What are you gonna tell Tig?"

I pause and look him dead in the eye. "The truth…"

Then, Tig bein' Tig, wakes up and groans. "Why the fuck you hit me so hard man? I know I'm a crazy psycho but you didn't have to cause me brain damage."

Opie chuckles. "You're already damaged, dude, a couple minutes passed out ain't gonna make it worse."

Tig stands up and can feel the tension. "Alright, so, one you fuckin' wanna tell me what the hell's goin' on…?"

"Yeah. Yeah." I say and sigh. This ain't gonna be easy.


	14. Chapter 14: No Turning Back

Chapter 13: No turning back

A/N: I haven't decided when Jesse is introduced to do her POV, what do you think?

Jax POV:

Previously:

 _Tig stands up and can feel the tension. "Alright, so, one you fuckin' wanna tell me what the hell's goin' on…?"_

" _Yeah. Yeah." I say and sigh. This ain't gonna be easy._

"I called Happy. I needed answers, man. The fact that she knows so much and he told us she knows so much-" I couldn't even finish my sentence. Man, might end up with another knockout.

"What did he say? What does he know? What is that dick hiding…?" Tig says impatiently.

Jesus. He's already worked up. I look over at Opie hoping he can do his weird calming thing but he just stands there. I don't think Gemma is really paying attention, cuz she's too caught up in wondering what the fuck happened between her and Clay.

I sight, take a deep breath and say "He said that right before she took off, he heard a conversation with her and Clay" I can see Tig ball his fists. Shit. But, I gotta just get it out. "He said that Clay gave her some sort of ultimatum. Get out of Charming, don't look back or he'll make her life a living hell."

Tig doesn't waste a minute before he's walking back to the car. Shit. Opie rushes up to him and says "Relax, man, relax. Just hear Jax out. We don't know the details and we know Clay ain't gonna tell us. Going back there ain't gonna do shit. We gotta get it from Jesse."

Tig glares at him and walks over to the truck. He doesn't have the keys but I know he's determined enough to hotwire the fuckin' car. Instead he punches the passenger side window and it completely shatters. Shit. I ain't seen him this way since Jesse took off. Shit. His eyes look murderous.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MANIPULATIVE PRICK THINK HE'S DOING TO CONTROL HER? She's his fuckin' step-daughter. WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW OR WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THAT HE SAID THAT TO HER? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T HAPPY SAY ANYTHING?" I honest to God am scared right now. He's completely off the rails and I got no idea how to get him back. I think if I tried to knock him out again he'd fuckin' kill me, no joke.

I see Gemma and Opie take a few steps back in fear, too. I know Tig wouldn't intentionally hurt us, but he's in fuckin' Hulk protective mode right now. I know his rage is towards Clay and mine is too. But Tig's off the charts.

He goes to grab something out of his pocket and for a god-damn second I wonder if he's gonna blow up the fuckin' car. Instead it's his cell phone, he goes to press a number but I take the chance and take it from him cuz I know he's about to go psycho on Clay and that'll only fuck shit up. Not surprisingly he comes after me and we skirmish for a minute until Opie breaks it up.

"Tig, TIG… knock it off. We're trying to fuckin' help you and we gotta see Jesse instead of Clay, man. She's the one who will tell us the fuckin' truth…. You gotta calm down…"

Gemma's almost catatonic at this point and if it wasn't for me worried that Tig is gonna go slaughter a bunch of people, I'd check on her. Opie tries to pull Tig off me and Tig finally lets up.

"Alright, ALRIGHT…." He looks at me and I know what's comin'.

"What else did Happy say cuz I know that ain't all of it?" He glares at me.

I don't know how to word it so I just go ahead and get it out. "He and Jesse have talked to each other a couple of times since she's been gone." I say it as calm as possible.

But, something weird happens. Instead of Tig getting more pissed off, he looks up with tears in his eyes and says "Why… why him and not me? WHY THE FUCK DOES HE GET TO BE PART OF HER LIFE AND NOT ME?" He screams. I think he's sayin' to the world and not just us. I didn't even consider he'd react this way. I figured he'd be pissed at Happy but I can tell he's mad at her and hurt. I agree with him but I gotta cool him off.

Tig takes a deep breath and looks at us. Opie's just watchin' him closely and finally Gemma seems to be back with it, but she's got tears streaming down her god damn face. I'm sure she feels the same. Jesse reached out to Happy over her family. Another puzzle to solve.

"Is he the one that told her we're comin' to see her?" He says desperately.

"No man, no and I know it ain't easy to believe him but he said that she was able to do some tech thing. I don't get it. I've never gotten anything she's capable of. But we know she's a fuckin' genius on like a crazy ass high scale and she's someone that's capable of putting her mind to anything. I honest to God believe him…" I try to say this as calm as possible and try to remind Tig just how smart Jesse is.

"She been watchin' us this whole fuckin' time?" I can tell he's pissed at her right now, and he really has every right to be.

"No no doesn't sound like it. I don't get it man, but somehow she did something so she was able to know who saw that video and I guess she knew we'd come to find her." I say.

Tig is getting a little calmer and it's allowing us all to take a breath. She's his rock as much as his trigger. Surprisingly, he smirks. "My girl is one in a fuckin' million." He says it quietly but we all heard it and nod our head.

Gemma finally speaks up. "Yes, she is. She's always been that way every since you both were toddlers. I could never outsmart the brat." She chuckles and the comment is appreciated. This has been a crazy fuckin' ride the past few days and we gotta just laugh at some point.

"So, you really think goin' to her instead of Clay is the right move even though she sounded scared that we're comin… I love her and I need to see her but I can't put her in danger or some shit…" Tig says. I can see the almost tortured look he has. I feel the same way but she's his whatever and they've got a kid. I really can't imagine how he's feelin'.

"No, honey. We gotta see her. We're gonna see her and we're gonna protect her. She's smart to protect herself but we're gonna do it anyways. She's my daughter, she's my blood and she's your girl. We ain't gonna let anything happen to her." Gemma says in a calm and soothing voice. It seems like she's a little better than she was and I know I gotta try to talk to her about her sort of breakdown earlier but now's not the time.

Tig looks at us and he's honest to God got tears down his face. "I love her Gem. I love her so fuckin' much and now that we found her, I can't fuckin' let her go. I just can't. If she tells me to walk away, I'll fight her on it and call her out on her whole whatever, but I'll listen. But she's my life. I gotta see her."

Gemma nods. "She's my daughter, Tig. I understand. We gotta deal with Clay but that's for another day." I see Tig's eyes flash dangerously and I glare at my Mom. But she continues and quickly veers back to Jesse. "We're gonna finish our trip, we're gonna figure out how to get to her and we're gonna figure out what to say to her and convince her to talk to us. We can't control if she wants to come back, but, we can get her to tell us what happened and why Clay said what he did."

Tig asks the question that's been on the back of my mind since this whole shit started. "How you doin' with that?"

I figure she's gonna blow off his answer, but she looks at him and says "I don't know."

We all stand there lost in our thoughts for a minute when Opie finally says "Alright, let's get back on the road. We don't got much more than a day left and if we just plow through, we can avoid other Clubs and get there." He looks to me and says "We find out an address for her yet?"

I try to remember if it was in that file that Happy gave us. I open the car door and the shards of the busted window are on the seat. God damn Tig.

"Sorry about that" he says sheepishly. I just shake my head. I really don't know what the fuck possessed my sister to date this nut bag. I search through my back and pull out the file. I try to flip through the pictures fast but I hear Tig clear his throat and I know it hurts to see those photos. I finally find the sheet that Happy gave us.

"Alright, looks like the last address as of a couple of months ago was 184 Spruce Tree Lane. What kind of fuckin' name is that for a street? Sounds like a fancy ass place." I say.

"Dude, she's a fuckin' genius that can do anything. She's like Bill Gates or some shit. Of course she's gonna live somewhere fancy." Opie says.

Tig and I just look at him. "Who the fuck is Bill Gates?" Tig says. I got no clue either.

"Man, I dunno how you two are related" he nods his head in my direction "and how the fuck you managed to get her" he looks at Tig.

We can always count on Opie for a laugh. "Alright, we're burnin' daylight." I say. I look at Tig seriously "You alright now brother?"

He looks at me and scoffs. "Fuck no, but I don't feel like blowing up the world at least. Thanks, brother. No one I'd rather be with right now helping me out with this crazy shit." He says.

We all climb into the car and pull back onto the road. Here we go…


	15. Chapter 15: Time ticks down

Chapter 14: Truth Will Out: Part 1.

Tig POV:

The sun was slowly setting in the sky and it causes me to think about when Jesse and I would just stare at the sunset. We joked how we wanted to chase it to see it rise on the other side of the world. She's such a brilliant person and the things we talked about opened my eyes to so much. As I'm sitting there reminiscing, it hits me. Fuck. We're going to talk again tonight. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was so fuckin' thrown by her callin' me and everything that happened after that I fuckin' forgot she said she'd call again. I quickly start from my seat causing Opie to look at me, wonderin' what's goin' on. I pull out my phone and it's around 8pm. Shit. Shit. She said she'd call at 10 her time. What the fuck time is it where she is? Where are we? I can't be around Opie, Jax and Gemma when we talk about whatever the fuck we're gonna talk about so I know we gotta stop.

"Where are we? What time zone we in?" I say urgently and impatiently. Both Opie and Jax look at me wonderin' what the fuck I was thinking. I needed to tell them why. "It's Jesse. She said she'd call at 10 her time so we could talk more." She's gonna know probably we're still comin' so maybe she won't call but I know her. She will. She may not say much more than 'Turn the fuck around right now' but I know she'll call.

"And you're just rememberin' now?" Jax says.

I get it. You'd think it'd be the thing that I'd be obsessing over for hours but between Jax knockin' me out and Jax's conversation with Happy, my brain is just fuzz.

"Shut the fuck up and just answer the god damn question." I say.

Opie snorts and I fuckin' want to clock him one. "We're still in the mountains, just about an hour from crossin' over, so it's just shy so its 2 hours. We still gotta a lot of time before it turns to one hour." I don't fuckin' understand that but can't focus on it. I look at the clock and it looks like it's 7:30. Okay, so that means it's 9:30 there, right?

Opie snorts again and says "Hey, look at that, Tig Trager can do math!" I realize he said that because I said the hours out loud. Gemma and Jax chuckle but I ain't in the mood.

"We gotta find a place to stop. I don't care if it's a fuckin' skeevy as trucker rest stop but we gotta stop now. I gotta talk to her, man. And I gotta do it alone." I say.

Gemma nods in understand and says "Okay, I saw a sign for a rest stop a few miles back, so I think it should be soon where we can pull over."

That ain't good enough for me. My impatience always fucks me over in the end, but this time I know I gotta answer this call. "How many minutes, Gem?"

Gemma shakes her head and mumbles something that sounds like "pussy whipped", but I know she gets how important it is for me to talk to Jesse and how much she needs answers.

"Bout 5. I also saw a sign for a motel. Just as close. Maybe we should stop there because I think this might be a long conversation and it'd make more sense to have somewhere else."

I grimace in frustration, but, she's right. It ain't really fair, although I really don't give a shit, to make them all wait while I talk to her. I still think it's only her tellin' me to back the fuck off but I know she wants to tell me more and I'm pretty sure she ain't changed that much where I can't figure out a way for her to make her.

"Gem's right, man. Let's crash at a place for the night. Even if it means we ain't gonna get there for another day, sounds like you gotta talk to her somewhere private. Even if she calls while we're still gettin' there, you can start talkin' and then do what you gotta do when we get there." Opie says. He's a smart fuck, I'll give him that.

"I'm good with that, man. I know I ain't gonna be the one talkin' to her tonight but I still wanna know and this is our chance." Jax says.

"Alright, let's haul ass and get this done." Gemma says.

She speeds up a little bit but I'm staring at the minutes countin' down. One thing about Jess. She says what she does right down to a T. I know her. It ain't gonna be 8:15 or 8:30, it's gonna be 8.

I'm bouncin' my knee up and down with my hand shakin' as well and I know I'm acting like some strung out junkie, but, I gotta answer when she calls. She'll call, right? Yeah, yeah, she'll call. I look out the window and see the sign for hotels. I look at Gemma and she says "We're almost there." It's 7:42. Okay. Breathe, Tig, just breathe.

Opie is quietly chucklin' next to me and Jax is just shakin' his head. I know. I'm a lovesick fool. Ditching my responsibilities to the crew, dragging all of them across the fuckin' country to see a girl who might not want anything to do with me anymore. But, I don't care. I've wanted this for too long. Waited too damn long.

Gemma pulls off the Interstate and I see the sign for a Holiday Inn. Huh. Fancy by our standards. Luckily, it's right off the high way. 7:47. I'm shaking my knee bad enough that Opie says "Dude, chill the fuck out or you're gonna flip the truck." I look at him with a "what the fuck kinda bs?" face is that bullshit. He just shakes his head and I hear him mumble "god damn miracle.." I assume he means it's a miracle that me and Jesse ever got together and that we stayed together but right now I don't really care. 7:49. My impatience gets the best of me:

"Come on, come on…" I say.

We pull into the hotel lot and Gemma parks the truck. Two seconds after she parks, I'm out the door forgetting about all my shit and almost joggin' into the hotel.

"Oh, don't worry, Tig, we'll get all your shit…" I hear Jax say. I can tell he's annoyed but I guaran-fuckin'-tee if the positions were reversed, he'd be doing the same.

I walk in the pretty nice lobby up to the hotel clerk and say "I need three rooms. Whatever you got…" I look at the clock behind the guy and it says 7:51. Shit. Shit. Shit.

He looks at me and I can tell he's leery. Even though I'm wearing civs, you can still see some of my tats and I probably look strung out as shit.

"Okay, sir. And what are the names of the people staying in the rooms?" I feel my frustration boil but I know we got our fakes on us and it'll be fine. I just gotta get into a room. I start thinking maybe I should just take the call and then get the room cuz this might take a while. While I'm standing there like a moron, Jax comes up.

"I got this, man. Just go find someplace and I'll flag you when this is settled." He has his hand on my shoulder and I'm too amped up to care.

I sigh. "Fine. Fine. I guess I'll go outside for now." I want to be in private but looks like I'm gonna have to take what I can get.

7:54. Jax nods his head and I see Gemma and Opie behind him. "It'll be fine, baby. We'll get you and then you can talk more when you got your room." Gemma says. I can tell she wants nothin' more than to talk to Jesse, too, but she gets that it's her and me right now.

Suddenly, I hear my phone ring. Shit. 8pm. Why am I not surprised?

I'm still standing in the middle of the lobby but I bust outside and pick up the phone after the second ring.

It's the same "RESTRICTED" number so I know it's her. "Hey, Jesse." I say, sighing.

"Hi baby." She says softly.

Fuck I miss her. So. Fuckin'. Much.

And then she says what I knew she'd say "So, you didn't turn around, huh? Why are you so fuckin' stubborn, Tigger?" She chuckles.

This is gonna be an interesting conversation….


End file.
